According to the News Times, a new hotel could be coming to Danbury. The site would be the Paul Mitchell School at 2 National Place in Danbury, and has been approved by the Department of Planning and Zoning.

The conversion would include an addition of a patio and turn the beauty school into a 40-room hotel. There are no plans for a bar or restaurant. The Danbury Historical Society says the downtown area has not had a hotel since the mid 70s.

First off, strike one on no bar and no restaurant. Second, I can already tell you that this hotel will fall short of my lofty expectations. It will probably be clean, modern and feature all the latest amenities —  I'm not into that anymore. I want someone, somewhere to have the vision to build a hotel that becomes a destination for people who love creepy environments. Hotels have great creep potential. They are stop overs for strangers up to God knows what.

Am I suggesting another in a long line of "haunted" hotels? No. Do I want it to be another Halloween house? No. Do I want to walk into and be greeted by a theater major telling tales of all the mysterious deaths from the 1800s in the local area? No.

I want to stay at a hotel where everything you see suggests you are in grave danger. My hotel will have key elements stolen from some of the best and worst suspense films that have taken place IN hotels and motels.

Here are the key elements to my dream hotel:

LIGHTING: 

  • Exterior neon sign that says "Hotel," but one letter never works.
  • Dimly lit bar/restaurant, super dim.
  • Hallway lights either don't work or blink incessantly.
  • Large breakfast cafeteria with lights completely off at all times.

STAFF: 

  • Reception - This person MUST be either indifferent or downright dismissive at all times. They are reading, watching a personal TV, some activity that constantly distracts them.
  • Maid - Really old woman. Every time you see her, she is standing in the same place, polishing the same table, never says one word.
  • Bartender - He's an older man, constant grin on his face, makes great old school cocktails and answers very direct questions with vague, rambling nonsense. Also, the bar never has more than three people in it and this includes the bartender.

ROOMS:

  • 70s interior decoration all the way around.
  • Old, table top TVs that do not work.
  • Ash trays.
  • Faint smell of mold.
  • Air conditioning works, but makes loud thuds when you turn it on.
  • One room in the hotel is ALWAYS unavailable with zero explanation as to why.

This is the hotel they should build, but they won't. If the environment I am trying to explain is not making sense to you, let me share some of these film clips to help you out:

This one is brand new, but I am eager to see it:

Have I seen too many movies? Sure, I have, but I'm not alone in that. I'll bet there are a few weirdos who would love to stay in my hotel.

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